A Thorn Turned Blessing: Ministry Among the Least

The life I lead is one I wouldn't change, even if it's often unusual. God led me to do ministry on the street among the least of these. Paul, in 2 Corinthians 12:7-11, speaks to a thorn in his side, something that God has put in my life as well. He prays to God for its removal and God answers, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” I used to pray daily that my thorn was removed, but I really don't anymore. In fact I’ve come to realize it's an enormous blessing.

A Blessing and a Thorn

Without the multiple diseases I have I wouldn't have the life I do now. Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome and Dysautonomia stripped my ability to work, and resulted in homelessness. Mast Cell Activation Syndrome causes deregulation of normal Mast Cells; triggered often by scented items causing anaphylaxis. I struggle in modern society because I might die if I smell perfume or the average house cleaner! Dysautonomia destroys the autonomic system, causing system wide issues to all the bodily functions we don't think about.

I sometimes sit in my van next to the Church my friend is the pastor of and think I’m blessed for my “van-life home ministry” like no other, and how God blessed me with it! I may not be able to go into the heavily scented Church, but I can sit in the parking lot and write behind it. God has taken my illness and used it to send me to “the Least of These”.

“The Least of These” is a verse I've pondered for decades, the idea that I could believe I followed Jesus while also turning my back on Him (Matthew 25:31-46), specifically to be sent away from Christ's presence. I had volunteered for numerous Church programs to feed the poor, but, per training and numbers, kept a professional distance and advocated programs to normalize and stabilize their lives. Programs many were not interested in, and in some cases like shelters, more dangerous than the streets. In a way, loving them, but as a number. I believe now, in doing so, I lost the essence of this verse. I have come to realize that many people lose compassion in numbers. It's not an accusation, I'm guilty of it myself. It comes from a concept of following the Law by creating programs. I've come to realize those same programs feed and cloth, but leave the soul distant from the only salvation these people truly need.

I learned this the hard way. I as a sister in Christ losing everything was treated differently than a normal member of the Church. No longer a sister in Christ worth hearing but instead someone who needed to “fix my life.” I became “those people.” When I was in the position of helping, we'd have meetings discussing those people. Though truly unintentional that attitude gets reflected while serving them. I couldn't “fix my life” and return to “normalcy” then or now. My thorn keeps me from being around those wearing scented items that close my airway, the Dysautonomia from ever scheduling myself again. Which is great, God didn't want normalcy! God wanted a humbling situation for everyone to see His glory! Oh, how His glory shines through too.

To this day I'm shocked I didn't believe homeless people talking about the Church, and by proxy Jesus as being cruel. It wasn't till I became those people I understood. I never truly loved any of them, while trying to love them, because programming made them "those people" to me. Now I am those people, proud of it too. Which makes me the only person I know who wants to stay homeless. Houseless is a better term, and I pray to not remain impoverished.

I have become a missionary to the United States homeless. A priority given to our ever growing population of physically ill, elderly, and those working jobs but unhoused. Yet, when God said “The Least of These” He meant all. I am all too happy to sit with addicts and the mentally ill as well. Community in Jesus being the cornerstone of change needed for normalcy. By becoming one of those people in the exact way those people became homeless, I gained the ability to grow individual community relationships where we are. Through this experience Jesus has made me His tool not only to reach them, but genuinely love them. To not withhold those things we all need; I share a gospel they've heard a thousand times, but never grasped without the pale reflection of love the Holy Spirit shines through me!

It's taught me that, although once I thought a nonprofit program doing missions amongst the United States homeless would be ideal, once the nonprofit was attempted, quantification came with it. Quantification reduces both love and relationships, because love is impossible to quantify. You cannot number; people spoken too, people in discipleship, their faith and appropriate changes especially because like all true spiritual growth, it takes time.

I don't believe intentional impoverishment is a good answer, I feel that needs to be said, this is not and never will be the poverty Gospel, but an invitation to feed souls along with stomachs. To get to know one homeless individual or group as a mentor, while not trying to actually fix them. We have programs for that, so let's try, as I do daily, to bring them Jesus so the Holy Spirit changes them. The only order creating lasting normalcy is reliance on God first. Well, except me. My normal is God's normal, and this is God's normal for me.

Instead of programs, we share common struggles. We build communities, albeit mobile, to keep each other safe, we share struggles, and break bread. The love and generosity granted to me by God builds an interest. It starts with the questions “why am I the way I am?” and “why do I love them?” Loving them as someone who struggles often opens the door to share the gospel. This works time and time again and leads to a relationship with Christ that builds the foundation for leaving the streets for a normal life. Not because I changed them, God did. Not because I'm better, but because I am them. God joined us where we are through Jesus and now I've joined them where they are at. To God, we are never those people we are His beloved. Those I minister to are my beloved friends.

Sometimes, what we perceive as weakness or challenges can actually become a strength and blessing in our lives as well as the people we are in contact with. They can shape us, teach us valuable lessons, and lead us to more fully rely on God's power.